I Was About to Drop Back into Fortnite for the South Park Collab, Then Firmly Exited the Game

Fortnite is always installed on my Xbox Series X because, every few days, my children will ask to play with me. Not to humble-brag or anything, but I usually carry them to a couple of wins, which is harder than it sounds when I have all three of them chirping in my ear, running around the map wherever they want, and only trusting one of them when it comes to a firefight. That’s the main reason I keep Fortnite installed, but a few years back, I put my fair share of time into the battle royale game. I’ve mostly moved on to other games, at least until the South Park collab event was officially revealed.

I love South Park, even though I don’t watch a lot of TV. In fact, I’m a few seasons behind at the very least, but I’ve watched plenty of it. I especially love the South Park games, though. Stick of Truth was an instant classic, and while The Fractured But Whole falls a little short of it, I still think it’s a great time. I’ve wanted a new South Park RPG for years, but I mean, checking out The Stick of Truth in Fortnite should’ve come close enough for me. I was ready to come back, do the Born in Chaos Pass, and buy a skin or two for myself. Then, I logged in, almost immediately closing the game and deciding I would not be playing it.

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Towelie is High if He Thinks He’s Worth $13

I’m guilty of spoiling my children, having spent probably way too much money on V-Bux and Robux over the years. (Their online activity is closely monitored.) They don’t ask all that often, so I typically don’t pay attention to how much I am spending because, well, because I’m not that good with money, okay? It’s my kids, too, so like, they’re not going to learn about the hardships of finances quite yet. But when I opened Fortnite to look at the South Park collab, I looked at the mini-pass and was “eh” about it. Still, I knew I’d have to buy a skin or two, and I was prepared to open my wallet.

Then, I went to the shop, looked around, closed my wallet, closed the game, and am not spending the money it’s asking for. I apparently have 50 V-Bucks in my account, but I needed more to get Towelie as a sidekick. Randy Marsh is my favorite character, which feels more like a confession than a statement, but Towelie is a close second. I was fine getting Towelie as a Sidekick and then just purchasing one of the Skins, probably Cartman, just because there is novelty to these South Park characters existing in Fortnite. Randy Marsh has to come to Fortnite eventually, no?

Then, I tried to buy the V-Bucks and it was $13 for Towelie. I thought the big bundle for skins was expensive, but I knew it probably would be too. But 13 bucks for Towelie just to follow me around? No, thank you. I didn’t even look at the skins, and I have no idea if this is the typical pricing, special pricing because of the collab, or something like that, but I just couldn’t do it. Listen, I hold no hate in my heart for people who dump money into skins. What people do with their money is their business, and we’re not going to talk about the amount of money I poured into Apex Legends over the years. I just…I love you, Towelie, but I can’t do it. I don’t have a whole lot to say about it other than the $13 price tag for a sidekick slapped me in the face, when I don’t really care about Fortnite‘s sidekicks to begin with, and I just won’t pay that.

Overall, the new South Park content for Fortnite seems pretty cool. I’m sure Towelie will be hanging out with a bunch of other players, and if my kids ask to play soon, I am sure I’ll see plenty of South Park skins running around while I rock one of my early season skins. I just won’t pay $13, but it’s not all “eh” in my mind. Instead, with the emphasis on the Stick of Truth, I hope this is some kind of teaser for a brand new South Park RPG. That, I would pay anything for.

Released

September 26, 2017

ESRB

T for Teen – Diverse Content: Discretion Advised, In-Game Purchases, Users Interact